The Craven Gods

After hours of fiddling, I finally got Myspace pimped out (Why oh Why didn't I pay more attention to CSS back when I was designing webpages? LOL). I'm happy with it but my redneck relatives have started friending me so I probably won't use it for much. I am thinking about moving this journal over to Myspace tho, if & when I can be bothered! :)

Lots happening in my world at the moment.

We are having a few teething problems with Hallows Eaves... basically we are having trouble conceptualising what we want the store to be. I have lots of ideas, but of course my fiance is right when he says we shouldn't spread ourselves too thin. We need to have an identifiable theme and a range of products which fits that theme, in other words we need to work on our "Brand". We are going to the Reed trade fair in September and will probably put in some orders there, but the Ebay store is down until we make some decisions on where we want to go in the near future.

I also have plans to run a Vernal Equinox circle next month. Going to start celebrating the WotY again, I've been slack about it lately but Spring is a good and exciting time to start! I've been doing a lot of research about the Equinox and about Easter. The Spring or Vernal Equinox is celebrated around the same time as Easter in the Northern Hemisphere, which is appropriate as these two holy-days share some of the same concepts - resurrection, re-birth, etc.

Unfortunately for us in the Southern Hemisphere, chocolate eggs are not exactly in abundance this time of year, lol. But I can still make some mooncakes and hot cross buns, lol.

I've been doing some research on Eostre/Easter/Spring Equinox so I anticipate posting that fairly shortly.

I get very frustrated with myspace... Either I don't understand how to use it, or I'm not using it right. But to me, it doesn't seem to "do" very much. It just seems to be like my own personal wall that I can graffiti with a variety of clips, pics, and quiz results. Except, I can't seem to figure out how to add the content. LOL :D

Most people are "pimping" their myspace, which often results in pages that are nothing more than eyesores - pictures obscured by unreadable text, or a page that is all jumbled up like a confusing flea market, or a colour scheme which is an assault on my senses. The "pimp codes" are often unwieldy and non-user-friendly. I applied a code to my own myspace account, and it took me forever to figure out how to change my font colour manually so the text would be semi-readable. (Damn my lack of CSS knowledge!)

Apart from the internal mail function, there doesn't seem to be any real way to interact with people via myspace. In fact, it just seems to be a way to show off how many friends you've "collected". It's kind of like internet voicemail, I guess.

Also, the blog function is really lacking - there are no "pimp my blog" layouts available, so while my myspace can be as "pimped out" as I want, my blog - which is, to me, the most important aspect of maintaining an internet presence - remains boring and lumpish looking.

To me, LJ is perfect. It's simple, it's user friendly. You can come here and read my thoughts, and you can make comments without needing to have an LJ account - comments that I can respond to, in a linear thread. I can post multimedia content in my entries if I so desire. I can edit my own layouts to make it look exactly how I want it to look. I can read all my friends' latest blogs collected on one page. And if you want to know more about me, you can check my memories or my profile.

However, since most people are using myspace, I guess I have to give in and learn how to use it properly. Like I said, maybe I'm missing something? I dunno... *shrug*

But I ABSOLUTELY draw the line at Facebook. >:(

Traditionally my quarter candles are Red (or Orange), Yellow, Blue and Green. Any shade I can find, anything will do.

Yesterday I had an idea to have four sets of "quarter candles" to correspond not only with the elements, but with the seasons as well. So it gave me a chance to play with pretty colours for a while instead of actually doing any work, lol.

Anyway, assuming I can find the candles in all the right colours, I am going to take a shallow cardboard box and some more flat cardboard and make a 4 x 4 sectioned box to keep my "seasonal quarter candles" in for easy access.

(Please excuse the mustard yellow, the colour chart I was using did not have a colour that was really right, but I figured this was close enough)

Spring

Fire	Water	Earth	Air
Peach	Baby Blue	Kiwi or Lime	Lemon Yellow

Summer

Fire	Water	Earth	Air
True Orange	Sky or Ocean Blue	Kelly (or Irish) Green	Bright Sunny Yellow

Autumn

Fire	Water	Earth	Air
Burnt Orange	French Blue	Medium Brown	Mustard Yellow

Winter

Fire	Water	Earth	Air
Red	Navy	Hunter Green	Grey

I spend so much of my time these days wondering who I am and how I got here. When I compare who I was four years ago to who I am today, I see so many changes, most of which I never intended or asked for. I am angry and bitter now for no apparent reason, I feel confused and insecure, I am full of doubt and dissatisfaction. My life as it stands does not seem to be "enough"; but I could not tell you what I want or need to make it better. I feel out of step with the Divine, I am neglecting my spiritual path but seem to be unable to stir up any real passion for it.

I can't blame my fiance, and I don't - we are each responsible for our own path. I realised a long time ago I would probably never find a relationship in which I could practice my faith as both christian and pagan and be not just accepted, but *supported* as well. But at least dating someone of faith meant there was some kind of common ground, even if we didn't see eye to eye all the time. Dating someone who has no faith at all, that is a challenge that I fear will get the better of me.

My fiance would not want, nor would he ask me to give up my faith. I think in some regards, he is glad I have it. But his subtle and subconscious lack of support discourages me, and each day I slip further and further away from the place of Being into a place of nothingness, a place of mundanity. So much of what I want to do, so many of my future plans, depend upon me being a spiritual person and on having the support of a like-minded partner. And I find that without that support, my interest in the spiritual wanes and dulls, and other things creep in and take their place.

I can't remember the last time I went to a church service or spiritual gathering (being dragged to church by my mother doesn't count). I can't remember the last time I read a religious or metaphysical book, or attended a full moon circle, or did anything more than say a quick prayer to the God of Transport to delay the train by just a few minutes when I'm running late in the mornings. I feel the loss of the Presence in my life as keenly as I would feel the loss of one of my senses. Being in touch with the God/dess was one of the few things that not only made me happy, but gave me actual Joy... and now that connection has become muffled, blurred.

I am in Limbo for the moment. I don't know what lessons I must learn from this. I don't even know if I am in a position to be able to learn. I'd like to say that I will try, that I have a plan to bounce back, that I have a 12-step program, but I don't. I guess I will just continue to take one step at a time and pray that the gods will still be listening, when I'm ready to speak.

I am falling asleep at my computer... I did not get much sleep at all last night. I have a friend who has had a very troubled life; this friend stayed at my place last night and things got strange. He mentioned seeing presences in the room, and told me he has experienced poltergeist-like activity around him ever since he was young. He said that he sees ghosts, and that he always sees a black figure, like a large shadow, especially when he is in danger. Also, he said he has been having a recurring dream that he is in a dark room, being pulled by hands and faces towards a blacker spot in the room and feeling like he is suffocating.

He is your typical roman catholic agnostic/atheist. He hates religion, but is very superstitious, and is convinced he's being haunted by ghosts and spirits. He claims to have been to a priest to try and rid himself of this "force" but has had no luck there. And he seems absolutely convinced he has some pretty dark forces attached to him and that he is being pulled over to "the dark side". In the end all I have is his word to go by. I myself didn't see any 'ghostly presences' last night. I have no real "proof" of anything supernatural happening and for all I know if could be just some crazy thoughts cooked up by a insomniac drama queen.

The only thing I do know is that his fear seemed genuine, and I got the sense that he felt very alone and isolated with all of this. He slept fitfully through the night, talking in his sleep, tossing & turning, having nightmares... at one stage when it seemed at its worst I prayed and made the sign of the cross over him while he slept and he actually GROWLED at me, very creepy.

It could be this darkness is a manifestation of his shadow-self, which needs to be integrated back into his psyche but because he is fighting it, the shadow-self then behaves in what he perceives to be a malevolent manner, leading him to believe it is a "demon". I have been through a similar situation, with a split personality that was aggressive and yes even malevolent until I integrated it back into myself. If this is the problem in this case, my friend is going to have to go through some very heavy shadow work to be able to first accept that this "darkness" is actually a part of him and not an outside force, and then secondly to reconcile and accept that side of him back into his spirit.

I've had friends who are 'sensitives'. It has always been one of my biggest frustrations that I cannot see, feel, or touch/play with energy the way other pagans and witches seem to be able to do. But I've felt strange presences before, and I have never actually felt what I would call a "positive" spirit, except of course the presence of the Divine and its agents & messengers; every other entity I have sensed has just felt wrong somehow, like it shouldn't exist in this plane. And it is possible that is is some sort of demonic attack. I've never been an expert with battling the unseen world, but I know enough to know that if these forces in his life are external, I'm gonna be f&^%ed up if I mess with it as I am totally unprepared and unequipped for that sort of thing.

I did a tarot reading today about the situation and what role I am to play in it, if any... the results were basically - "Be a friend to him but don't attempt to deal with this because your skills are not up to the task". That is hard advice to take but I don't really have any other options open to me at this stage.

My fiance and I are in a "shadow period". Unhealthy living conditions have made me a very sick chicky, yet the demands of every day life never stop. A lack of finances and family support, among other things, led to the postponement of our wedding (which I was secretly grateful for as I don't think I am really "ready") and left a massive amount of fallout - phone calls to make, hurt feelings to soothe, deposits to get back. My best friends have things going on in their lives at the moment which has drastically reduced my contact with them, making life very stressful for both me and my fiance as my neediness drains and burdens him.

But I believe things are looking up. Within 4-6 weeks we will be in a place that is clean and well-organised, so my health & happiness should improve. We bought ourselves time by postponing the wedding till June, and since we had 90% of everything done (as we postponed 2 weeks prior to the big day) it's really just a matter of waiting for the new date to arrive. And I feel June is a better time for me anyway, as I have always loved winter the most out of all the seasons.

We have also recently registered our own retail business, Hallow's Eaves, which will sell metaphysical & religious items, new & used books, gothic-style giftware & art, etc. It's something I've wanted to do for years now but haven't been able to as I work full time, but since my fiance is unemployed it's the perfect opportunity. There is a program through Centerlink which is designed to help unemployed people start their own businesses and we are looking to get him into that. It's quite interesting really. We went to a trade show over the weekend and I now have information for a range of suppliers I feel comfortable dealing with.

I am also starting up my own spirituality group "Sage Moon" in June to correspond with Yule. I've always viewed Yule as the start of the new year, because it is the time for new beginnings and rebirth. In the pagan Wheel, it is the time when the Sun King is reborn, portrayed in Nature by the ever-increasing daylight from that point on until the height of summer, when the Sun King's power wanes as he prepares for his journey into the underworld. In the northern hemisphere, Yule falls in December, which also corresponds with the birth of Christ. But I've read studies that state it's likely that Jesus was actually born in April, as the shepherds were out all night tending the flocks at the time of the heraldic announcement, which wouldn't have happened in the dead of winter. So it's likely that the Catholic church 'decided' that the "Christ mass" was to happen in December to try and combine (and gradually overtake & replace) the pagan practice of the Sun King's birth.

I've also been thinking about Hecate a lot lately. She is to some the Crone figure, but she can also be seen as the three-in-one, a symbology that occurs continuously through most religious paths. She is the Queen of the night, the Dark Goddess. She is also the Goddess at the Crossroads. People who seek guidance at a point of "crossroads" in their life should look to Hecate on a night when the moon is dark.

I have been thinking about her as I feel I am at a point of change in my life. A lot of what I used to be is slowly dissolving or being stripped from me, a lot of people I used to know have gone their own way, a lot of the things I used to do have been blocked out of my life for now. I feel that I am being given a spiritual "spring-clean", in readiness for the new things that are coming to fill my life in the future.

There are three stages to a woman's life - Maiden, Mother, and Crone. I feel I am quickly leaving maidenhood behind me, but I have a ways to go before I become the Mother. To me, The Maiden embodies a youthful vigour and zeal for knowledge, a time of innocence and learning, such as in being a novice; whereas The Mother, while still continuing to learn, embodies an application of knowledge already gained. I feel that I am still in a process of learning, but as I said to a friend of mine the other day, I feel like I am on the verge of being ready to take all that I have learned over the last few years and to start applying it and living my life by its code. Which I associate with being "The Mother".

But The Mother is also wisdom - perhaps not as wise as The Crone, but wiser than the brash, impetuous youth of The Maiden. The Mother, to some degree, is patience and knowing that not all things come at once. The Mother is able to reach out of herself and give to others, to nurture and nourish her kith and kin and the world in which she lives. The Mother is about strength and power and using them to stand for what is right. The Mother is action and truth, love and healing. When I see the beginning of those things in my life, as I have been lately, I am afraid of not being enough, of not being able to live up to those ideals. But mostly, I am afraid of the changes in my life that will come if I am strong enough to be all that The Mother demands.

But in the end, none of us truly know what we're capable of until we step out on a limb and give it a go. And i heard it said one that "God will not place upon your shoulders that which you do not have the strength to endure." So I for one am not going to stunt my spiritual growth but am going to leap blindly into the portal and see where the Mother takes me. *smile*

Blessed Be,

Cadence

I'm so confused. This census thing is really bothering me, although I suppose I shouldn't let it be more than a blip on the radar.

Five years ago (or whenever the last census was), the biggest issue I had was that my father put "Baptist Christian" instead of "Pentecostal Christian" down on my census form. Now my problem is that I don't know what religion at all to put down, let alone which denomination or which branch to choose.

Although I practice a pagan brand of spirituality, I am not polytheistic and don't think that I should put that I am a Pagan or any of the other Nature-based religions. But I don't know that I believe in a literal Jesus anymore, and I know my pagan practices are seen as "witchcraft" by the Church, which pretty much rules out all the standard Christian religions. But I don't believe in reincarnation, so I can't choose Theosophy or Gnosticism, which would be the two closest to my personal faith.

So should I "cop out", and put 2999 - 'Other Christian' - or perhaps I should put 6999 - 'Other Religious groups, nec'? If I did that though, I'd feel like I failed in some way.

I guess it matters so much to me because it has really driven home the point that I am pretty much alone in the universe. Sometimes I wish I could convert back to Christianity, or dedicate myself as a Pagan... I wouldn't completely agree with all the teachings of either, but at least I'd have a label, a niche, a place where I belong for once and people to teach me and train me, instead of just being this religious rogue, this spiritual wildcard that I feel I am.

I am a very very sad and confused fish right now!

*sigh*

:(

**edit: If you want to have a look at the codes you can find them HERE

I was robbed yesterday. I wasn't hurt, and nothing was taken that can't be replaced. I tried to be strong and deal with it, I made the proper reports and notified the right authorities, and even though I cried in front of more strangers than I would have liked, and was flustered enough to spend more than I'd really wanted to at the shop I went to afterwards, I still felt like I'd done "all right", considering.

I went through a process. First, shock - it took a moment to grasp that what had just happened. Then the anger set in (in the form of chasing the asshole while swearing and calling him filthy names) and once all that subsided I realized I had no idea what to do... I was momentarily at a loss and practically begging for comfort or guidance. Then I started blaming myself - if only I had done this or that, etc. - and finally, I curled into a little bottle via pizza and cheap bourbon & coke. Which turned out to be not such a great idea, since I forgot I had only had one spring roll all day, and that was many hours prior... needless to say, it went straight to my head and I got way more drunk than I care to be. *sigh*

But I didn't realize how badly the violation of my personal space and property shook me until I was safe at home in the arms of my fiance. Even at 10pm, I was still incredibly wired and couldn't sleep. I tried reading, but couldn't concentrate on the words on the page. Finally I did drift off, since having the heater on to warm the room up tends to make me sleepy. But even though I slept incredibly well, with both my "boys" (the human and the furry one) cuddled up to me, I still don't think I've fully shaken it off. Today I've been subdued, jumpy, unable to really concentrate. But I know this was really a minor incident in the grand scheme of things and that I will bounce back given a few days to recover.

It's got me thinking about victimisation and the affects crime or abuse has on our spirits as well as our physical bodies. I think it's funny that it's at the very moment we think we are strong, that we often find out how very weak we are. I like to think I am a strong person. I have been told by many friends and partners in the past that I am one of the strongest persons they know. To some degree, what is seen as strength is nothing more than sheer independence and stubbornness. But it is true that I have achieved much in my life through this form of "strength", and my determination alone has been what has carried my fiance and me from A to B when it seems we have no other resources or avenues open to us.

But that kind of strength can also be a bad thing. It keeps me from being close to a lot of people who could be MY support base, because I won't allow myself to need anyone. I have a fear of being or even appearing to be weak, or of letting people down. I have a near-paranoid need to keep my hands on all the strings so that they don't get tangled. Some have called me a control-freak because of it, but I don't know how to explain that it's not an issue of ego, it's an issue or trust. It's not that I think I am more capable than others, it's just that I am afraid to trust other people in case they let me down.

And I suppose all of this comes from being victimised at an early age, receiving no family (read: parental) support, and having to struggle through and come to terms with things on my own. I have a history of anger and alcohol abuse; and in keeping myself pretty much constantly intoxicated I placed myself in a vulnerable position. I blamed myself for a lot, thought that I wasn't a good person, that I deserved whatever happened to me. I thought I was incapable of taking care of myself, and was always looking for friends and lovers to depend upon for my happiness and wellbeing. And in many of those cases, I chose the wrong people as my caretakers, which led to even more hurt, anger and resentment. I would have to say for about a period of fourteen years, I was angry, and I was a victim.

But I have gradually "come into myself" in the past five years. This has been through the love and patience of someone I am no longer with, but who still had enormous impact on my ability to trust and to love. But the majority of changes have been because of my personal spiritual growth. Is spirituality, then, a crutch? No, I don't think so. It's the window which lets the light in - without it, I would be in a very dark place. Spirituality gives me a reason to look outwards, to focus on issues that are outside myself, rather than to look inwards on the dark places of my own psyche. And through my constant realization of the connectedness of all life, I have learned that - as cliched as it sounds - "I am not alone."

And as I am a part of all life, I take care with my own thoughts and actions, to be responsible for them, and to try and respect all living things and to do nothing which will cause intentional harm. I have to admit, ashamedly, there was a part of me that was going..."hmm... waning moon, check. Black candle, check!" but you know what, it's not worth it. To be honest... there are times when my fiance and I really do feel like either or both of us is hexed. The sheer amount of "bad luck" we've had over the last year is quite suspicious.

But you know, belief is also about choices. And I choose to believe you make your own luck. And the darkness in this world is already too strong a force to risk feeding it through negativity on my part. So I'm going to fill my life with positivity instead. Some people say Christians who live by that moniker "Count your blessings" are naive. I don't think so. I think they know full well there is darkness out there, but why focus on that when you can focus on what you DO have, which will inspire you to move on into bigger and better things? Dwelling on fear, and negativity, will only drag you down.

For a while now, I have refused to wear the "victim" tag, which shows just how far I've come. And now I am definitely going to count my blessings - I and my "family" have our health, my fiance and I are both employed, we have food in the cupboards, and we have each other. Ultimately, no matter what happens, if we have those things we are very "lucky" indeed.


Blessings,

xx Cadence xx

I thought I'd post about our weekend trip to Katoomba. It's not the usual topic here, but it was definitely a spiritually revitalising weekend, which was good because we were both getting bogged down by a lot of bullshit and really needed to recharge. It was kind of spur of the moment... we'd been talking about getting away, and then as an engagement present a friend who lives in the Blue Mountains offered to loan us her house and organise some massages for us, which worked out well because it was the Winter Magic festival and also our 9-mth anniversary.

Friday I left work around 1.30pm and headed home to pack. We got to Springwood a little after 5pm and were taken to see Jim, the "Lomi Lomi man", where we each received a hawaiian massage, mmmmmmm...! My friend cooked dinner for everyone, and then Sam and I were deposited back at her house to spend a quiet night alone. Sam fell asleep on the lounge while I watched Rage and finished a black cloak for Sam to wear to the Festival. I also made a long purple velvet skirt for myself out of some material I had, and it was nice to be dressed up for the festival.

Saturday morning our host came back and cooked breakfast, and then Sam and I went to Katoomba for the Festival. We missed the parade, but we browsed the street market, had chai & hot choc at the Paragon, watched street performances and a snake handling show, and watched the fireworks at the end. Sam got a leather wallet with a celtic design, but I didn't buy anything except a couple of badges from the Socialist Alliance stand ("Unfuck the World" and "There is no road but Revolution"). Most of the things I saw were nice, but I could either make them myself or buy them here in Sydney.

Then we went back to Springwood to the Orient Hotel where we had a beautiful meal - Sam had a steak and I had roast pork and we got two different types of cheesecakes for dessert. On the walk back to my friend's house we argued about Politics (which is inevitable since I am a Socialist and Sam is a John Howard Butt-kisser, lol) and then we got under the doona, opened a bottle of wine and watched a movie we bought - "Sin Eater", which I enjoyed immensely - and then we retired for more... er, "fun and games" hehe :D

Sunday we dragged ourselves out of bed for a reflexology session our host had booked for me, but that got cancelled so we went into Springwood for some breakfast. We got on a train to Leura, where we had a look in a few arts & crafts stores, and then went to "The Quest" at the beautiful Leura Everglades gardens. There were lots of people in costume in 16 differently themed areas, and you had to get a stamp in your "passport" for each area and there was a quest to complete as well. Even though we got there a bit late, we were able to get all but three stamps in the passport and I got lots of awesome photos as well.

We bought sourdough bread at Leura, and then had burgers and chips for tea before getting on a train back to Springwood. We were able to coordinate with our host for her to meet us at the train station with our bags, so that we got to stay on the same train all the way back to Westmead, which is good because the trains run every hour, hehe.

After we got back to Westmead, we cuddled and napped for a little while and then the boys ordered up Pizza - I was sound asleep but got woken up by the smell of three hot slices of pizza sitting on my nightstand, so I woke up long enough to eat and then I went back to sleep!

All in all it was a great weekend and we are looking forward to going back to the Mountains in October for our 1 year anniversary, but this time we will - a) do more 'sight-seeing' stuff like bushwalks, the edge cinema, etc.... and b) bring more warm stuff to wear, hehe :D

Hey guys... I know I haven't been posting much in here, I am kind of on "hiaitus" (sp?) from things of a spiritual nature - by my own choice, although there are external factors. Anyway, I'm not going to go on about that right now but I have recently begun reading the emails from my yahoo pagan groups again, and this is a post I made today in reply to something another member said... actually, the topic was only MINORLY touched on by the original poster, but I have always wanted to sit down and postulate (heh I don't even know what that means) on the topic sooooooo...

The age old question amongst pagan circles is whether or not to accept money for information given, or services rendered, of a "witchy" nature. Christianity hasn't really had a problem extorting *cough* er, GETTING money from its constituents (*LOL*) but there have been issues about whether or not it is right for priests and clergy to take on "day jobs". Like in early Christian era, St. Paul was doing some mission work and staying with some people who were tentmakers like he used to be, so he started doing some work on the side - mainly just to keep busy, I suspect. And the head church got shitty about it and must have written him a nasty letter (we only have his reply to them) and there was this whole big thing about it... which I would go into more indepth if I had a bible in my hands and were able to find the reference which told more about the story, because my memory is shite, heh.

And it is a big deal to some Pagans, they see it as a question of integrity - like if they treated their knowledge and talents and "craft lore" as something that could be bought or something that had a price, then does that make it any less noble? Or something along those lines anyway...

Anyway, I'm of the opinion that the God/dess grants each of us some special knowledge or some unique talent, and it's not until we get together and "combine forces" that we really begin to see 'the big picture'. Therefore I believe that since we were meant to share our abilities and talents we should do so lovingly and free of charge. Otherwise, we will take our secrets to the grave, depriving and thus denying someone else of the benefits of our experiences through which they may learn a bit more about life & become wiser themselves.

But in my forays into writing, singing, acting and performance art - areas of the arts which aren't very high-paying for amateurs or jacks-of-all-trades, like me, hehe - I've been constantly told to place value on my work. And as much as I like sharing information with people, teaching a class, or even entertaining people, I realize that there is a lot of work that goes into those things behind the scenes. Often there are printing or distribution costs, packaging costs, venue hire charges, advertising costs... even alternative therapies practitioners need to buy oils, massage tables, etc. The money to cover those costs has to come from somewhere, and what better place than from those who benefit from those services?

Especially when putting on workshops or writing or making trade goods to barter or sell is someone's only means of income, then perhaps it is wise to incorporate the costs of living into your asking price. I think the God/dess would see that as being self-sufficient - i.e. taking the talents and abilities we're given and making a living from them rather than pushing our talents aside in favor of a desk job (not that there's anything wrong with pencil-pushing... *wry grin*) - and be proud of us.

As long as I know the cost of a weekend retreat, natural therapy, workshop, or handcrafted item is justified and fair, I don't expect it to be free. I also think that to expect it to be free would be disrespectful to the author/creator/teacher. Because the more $$ we inject into our spiritual community, the more resources there will be to go around and the more everyone can prosper and grow and continue to love and share our gifts.

But I don't believe in charging more for services than is necessary. And that is something I see all too often. I'm constantly amazed at how high the prices on books and candles can be "jacked up" by shops, or how much the cost for a weekend retreat or workshop can be! It seems like some people (usually the secular types) like to label something as spiritual or New Age just to raise the profits... but that could be me being cynical, heh.

I think a good rule of thumb would be: If it's free for us to produce some item or service, we should pass that on freely to our neighbours. But if it costs us, I think it is only right to ask for a small fee, or perhaps barter something for these services we provide.

And I'd also suggest that when there is a cost for something happening within the community, where possible this cost should be made negotiable for those who aren't so well-off. If someone can't afford to go to the retreat, let them take over camp cleaning duties to pay their way! If someone can't pay for a $200 workshop, let them barter something or provide an alternative service in return.

Bring back the barter, I say... that way, both parties get something and both parties win :)

In love and light,

Cadence

When the Moon is in the Southern sky,
And the Earth is sleeping like a child,
Contemplation brings insight,
This is the Mystery of the Night.

When the Sun has risen to new birth,
And his rays are spreading o'er the Earth,
Bask ye in his warm embrace,
This is the Mystery of the Day.

Day and night... Night and Day...
Sun and Moon, to light our way.

Day and night... Night and Day... Night and Day... Night and Day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

'Come with us,' the Fey ones cried,
'Knowledge we seek, with Love as our Guide;
Take our Hearts and take our Hands,
As we journey to the Summerland.'

So we followed the Fey and we learned to Dance
We loved with our Hearts and healed with our Hands
Spirits of Earth, the Water, and the Sky
Guided us as we journ'd to the Summerland.

There the Fey left our side and they all knelt down,
This was the place where Mysteries abound;
Surrounded here by the origin of life -
We all come full circle in the end of time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The waves roll back to the ocean,
The waves roll onto the shore;
The waves roll back to the ocean,
The waves roll onto the shore.

La da da di da da
La da da di da
La da da di da da
La da da di da

The Stars burn slow in their courses,
The Sun gives light to the Moon,
The Stars burn slow in their courses,
The Sun shines light through the gloom.

La da da di da da
La da da di da
La da da di da da
La da da di da

*giggle*

It's "official" - I am now "Reverend Melisa Elaine Swinney of the Universal Life Church"! I have an online certificate, and when the HQ in California gets it in the post, I will have a real one. They are legally recognized in the States (altho apparently they have "trouble" with New York) but I don't know how legal the ordination is here.

They have an online seminary of sorts. You sign up for free, and get bi-weekly emails with little tidbits of information. But you can pay to do actual "courses" with them as well. Each "class" costs about $60, and includes books & cd's & other resources. The classes last about 20 weeks; you get one lesson emailed to you per week and then you have to write an essay at the end to receive the degree. Each class is also worth a certain number of credits, which you can apply to "graduating" with a Masters or Doctorate.

I'm going to do some comparative religions stuff as well as some general spiritual courses, and they have a Metaphysics and a bible course I am interested in as well. In the end, the cost is nominal. Even if I spend $1,000 (over time, of course) getting my "doctorate", it's far less than I'd pay to go to Uni, and I don't have to go through the process of applying for Uni and hoping they don't knock me back (the notion of which just infuriates me - education should be freely available for everyone who wants it).

Anyway, this all springs from all the research I've been doing lately, on the comparative religions of Egypt vs. Christianity. See, I've always enjoyed a certain level of intelligence, even though at times I can be flighty and scattered. But when I started reading this stuff (which was mostly written around the turn of the 20th century) I realized that it is intellectually a few notches above what I am usually accustomed to reading. It's fun, and I'm learning a lot about symbolism (some of which I will post) but there are times when even reading a paragraph over and over again just doesn't help!! I'm hoping the more I read, the more my brain will get used to the syntax.

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Re: my previous post, I was asked, "How do you get rid of hate?" I replied, "Forgiveness". Forgiveness makes chinks in the armor that Hate builds to protect itself. "But," this person asked, "HOW do you forgive? Where do you start?"

Some people who have been hurt by others, or hurt by life's circumstances, have a hard time forgiving. They seem to think that they could forgive IF only this or that... but forgiveness should not be conditional. I think you can start to forgive, when you realize AND accept that the person who hurt you may never apologize (or even come to an understanding that they need to apologize), or that you may never get "closure" on a hurtful circumstance in your life.

Forgiveness can be a healing two-way street. But sometimes the person you need to forgive is long gone out of your life, and what are you going to do - track them down 20 years later to "forgive" them for something they probably put out of their mind a long time ago? So we see that Forgiveness does NOT need to involve an outside party - it is possible to forgive someone without them ever knowing it.

Sometimes forgiveness is more for our benefit than the benefit of those we feel have wronged us. Often, in order to move on with our lives, we have to just come to terms with what happened, learn a lesson from it, accept that we may never get closure, and produce our own "mental" closure on the matter.

That way, when faced with a similar situation, or perhaps with the same person who hurt you, you can start afresh without any emotional baggage to hold you back. Otherwise, history is destined to repeat itself over and over, until you break the cycle.

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One thing stated in reply another of my previous posts struck me as interesting... "as you read, study and considers religion, theories, mythology etc, remember that they are all just labels and names. Just like Protestant, Orthodox and Pentecostal are just words. It confuses people and messes up what is meant to be a simple connection between humankind and its Creator."

I totally agree. (On a side note, that's what I think Christians have a hard time "getting" about me - the fact that I totally agree with them on most of the things they say. That's because I like to think I'm a Christian "in the spirit", if not "in the letter".)

"Denominations" are just labels. I've tried a few - Baptist, Catholic, Pentecostal - and all of them have their ups and downs. I think religious labelling is a very divisive measure. In a lot of cases, Christian denominations aren't so different, with only a few incongruous doctrinal points between them.

And I'd go so far as to say that most religions are the same at their core. Most religions share the same beliefs, if not the specifics - the existence of a Creator, and redemption through the deification of Man (achieved through the realization of the Christos spirit within). Once you recognise and respect the universal truths which are shared, true religious harmony can be created... I'm not saying we should or can come to the point where there is just one Cosmic Religion, but I do think the "Believe and let believe" theory could work, if we would let it.

The problem is in our (Christianity's) insistance on literalism. Christian ignorance of Pagan ritual makes Pagans seem like barbaric, primitive "plant worshippers", when that is usually far from the truth. Pagans worship Nature because in Nature they see the reflection of the Divine order - they are worshipping the Divine by using symbolism of the Earthly plane to make it more accessible. Pagans, more than anyone perhaps, understand how to view the world symbolically. Christendom would do well to take a leaf from their books every now and then.

But getting back to it - it's all just labels. God exists under many different names for many different people, Jesus and his message is just as real and impacting whether taken literally or as myth, and even if I don't believe the Bible is completely historical, that doesn't mean that the kernel of spiritual gnosis the Bible contains is any less life-changing or any less true.

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Sorry this post was so jumbled... I just had lots of stuff I wanted to say!

There is an email which circulates every now and then on the "Reason, Season, Lifetime" principle. This made a lot of sense to me and had an impact on how I view my friendships. Basically, the principle is this - Some people come into your life for a Reason, or specific purpose, and once that purpose has been fulfilled they drift out of your life again; a short-term association. Other people are with you for the 'long haul', they're the Lifetime friend - the friend that no matter how much time or distance passes between you, the term "friend" still applies.

The middle category describes the Season people, or those who are a part of your life for an indefinite time. They are there to get you through hard times, to inspire you to take on new projects, and to help you see them through to fruition. But sometimes, they are there to challenge you, to test and try you, which isn't always so pleasant.

For a long time I've tossed up the question in my mind of which is stronger - Love, or Hate? (Now, it may sound like I've gone off on a tangent, but trust me, and stay with me, and we'll get around to making some sense eventually.)

Hate is a powerful, strong emotion/force. Hate inspires feelings of rage and resentment, we channel our fear into anger. Hate can be the inspiration to cease caring about moral law and conventions, and to go outside the boundaries of what's socially acceptable in order to commit unspeakable atrocities.

But Hate blocks people. People who Hate - people who are bitter, people who dwell on the hurtful past - cannot move on. People who harbour ill will towards another, people who constantly analyse past events where they feel they were wronged, turning them over and over again in their minds like a festering plaything - those people are trapped. Until they learn to "let it go", they will always have Hate chained around their ankles, holding them back, keeping them from reaching true peace.

But if Hate's partner is fear, then Love's partner is Hope. Love is the real transforming power. Love does NOT block. In contrast, Love steps aside to allow room for growth. It is only through love that people can reach their full potential, like the sun coaxing a flower into bloom. Love doesn't seem strong - compared to Hate Love can often seem quite weak, and those who advocate Love can be abused by powerful Hate-mongers. This is because in a lot of cases, Hate is obvious and immediate and perhaps more overt, whereas love presents a far more subtle case.

Hate can also transform us into something completely different, but this change is rarely a good one. We end up bitter, twisted, scarred, battered and bruised when we allow Hate to rule our lives. The changes Love brings are for the better; through love and forgiveness we are able to transcend into the next stage of our lives without anything holding us back.

And this brings us back to what I was saying before, about the people who are with us for certain seasons of our lives. Sometimes these people become a part of our lives to encourage, to help, and to inspire. But just as often they are the source of irritation, of harrassment and grief. They are the difficult boss, the bitchy mother-in-law, the rude store clerk, the pushy preacher.

My Fiance, whom I love with all my heart, has been and continues to be a source of growth, of positive reinforcement. He makes me feel confident and good about myself. My best friend also has inspired me with her warmth and generosity. But there are other people in my life who have criticised me, held me back, confused me and made me feel small. I am always going to have both types of people in my life - the antagonists, and the true friends. That is a timeless truth, and something I cannot change. But how I react to the various influences in my life - that is my choice. I choose. And I have no one else to blame for my choices.

In the end, it all comes down to choice. It comes down to knowing that there are always going to be these two polar opposite forces in my life, and that I must choose to base my reactions in Love, not Hate. When you do that, you can destroy the blocks in your life, and use them as stepping stones to true growth. The key to "letting go" of the negatives is to realize that even those people who have been have nothing but frustration to me have taught me lessons. If I have learned nothing else, at least I have discovered what I prefer from a relationship and where I draw the line (which reminds me of Edison, when failing to create a light bulb that works, stating boldly, "I have not failed, I have been very successful in determining what does not work!").

To sum up, life is full of good things, and bad things. Life is full of good people, and bad people, good experiences, and bad. Life is full of things that will build you up, and things that will tear you down. And all of that is necessary. It is not in these things that we will find ourselves, it is not in these things that we will become "better" or "stronger"... it is in the power of choice, and in whether or not we choose Hate, or Love.

I’m currently reading: "The Pagan Christ – is blind faith killing Christianity?" which is essentially a "comparative religions" book. It’s been a challenging read so far, and to be honest, it’s slow going. I find myself reading a paragraph or chapter multiple times just to fully grasp the concepts the author puts forward.

The basic premise of the book is that the story of Christ and much of the Bible is allegorical, a retelling of myths belonging to older religions, primarily Egyptian mythology. Further, the author also claims that both the Pagan community and the Christian church were aware of this "plagiarism" and it caused no problems with either party, until the Christian church claimed in the 3rd century that not only was theirs the original version of events, but was also a factual and historical account, at which point the Pagan community rose up in protest.

Subsequently, partly to punish and partly to “erase” all evidence of alleged plagiarism, the Church launched a vigorous and religious-right campaign against paganism and supposed heresy which was to last many centuries, during the course of which many precious historical and scientific scrolls and books were burned and destroyed and theosophical and philosophical colleges disbanded, all of which were sources of information which may have been able to prove that the stories of Christianity as we know it existed thousands of years before the historical Jesus of Nazareth walked the earth.

As I haven’t finished the book, I don’t quite know how I feel about the claims it makes, but it’s quite interesting to see the comparisons between different religions, to see the same stories cropping up in different formats spanning time and geographical space. Apparently, there are 180 similarities alone between the lives of Jesus and Horus, the Egyptian "Saviour figure".

I find myself asking questions – "Could this be true? Could some or all of the information found in the Gospels be allegorical? Could something of this magnitude really have been covered up so well? Does it really matter if Jesus is fictional or historical? Is the message of Christ still the same in either instance?" I guess I’ll have to finish the book – and follow it up with research on both sides of the coin – to figure it out.

One thing I find interesting is that with most branches of paganism, you get one group of people who take a literal approach to polytheism – i.e. they believe in the actual and individual existence of the many Gods/Goddesses – and another group of people who accept that all gods are merely a manifested aspect of the one Great God or Force. Even in Wicca, you get the people who worship a literal God and Goddess, and those who believe that the God and the Goddess are manifestations of the male and female energies of the One Force that drives the universe.

But the funny thing is that both the literal and the metaphorical pagans seem able to worship and work together with little to no issues on whose viewpoint is correct. Someone who believes that Diana or Demeter or Apollo actually exists as an individual entity can work happily alongside someone who evokes Diana (or Demeter or Apollo) as the appropriate aspect of God for the task at hand. In most cases, it honestly doesn’t matter.

The one facet of paganism that appeals to me the most is that people are free and in fact encouraged to find their own path, to formulate theories for themselves, and to worship and integrate spirituality into their lives in a way that suits them. You won’t find many pagans who claim to have all the answers, because it is commonly accepted within paganism that life is a journey, a constant process of growth and discovery.

With Christianity, in my experience, it is the opposite. There is relatively little freedom within “Christianism” to form opinions that differ from what has been accepted as "the truth" by religious leaders of the past. The theory seems to be that great Christian minds of centuries past have already thrashed this out in the theosophical arena so that today’s Christian can be content to follow status quo, secure in the knowledge that they hold hard-won truth in their hands.

The average Christian is expected to believe that every story, every passage in the Bible is literal, (except the ones that clearly denote they are being retold as parables, of course,). Outside exploration of faith and spirituality is not encouraged lest you be “led astray” from the course of True Christian Doctrine. And were you to even suggest the possibility that Christ might not have really existed, except as an allegory or metaphor, you would be considered to have committed blasphemy and would be condemned on the spot.

It seems that what the Church really fears is revolution. The Church is afraid to give her followers the freedom that is afforded to the pagans – the freedom to question, to deviate and to be self-governing in affairs of spirituality and faith. The Church is a structure that has been slowly built up over the centuries into a great towering edifice, and were one to see a crack in the foundation or a flaw in the design, I have no doubt it would be easier to cover up that flaw (and the knowledge of it) than to tear down the whole structure in order to repair it. But sometimes what is easier isn’t always what is best.

Solidarity – a commodity so readily available amongst the pagan crowd – is rarely found in the Church. Intolerance for differing religious viewpoints is found even among the Christian denominations, with minute disparities between doctrines forming the breaking point for many branches of the Christian faith. Some churches and denominations allow women to minister and preach, others require women to be silent and to cover their hair. Some churches condemn gay people while others allow openly homosexual people to become ordained ministers. Some churches hold Christian rock concerts for their young people while other churches sanction only the singing of traditional hymns.

In reality, nobody really knows anything one way or the other. It is pointless to argue that something is "true" while something else is only a "myth", or that one religion is "right" while another religion is "wrong". I’ve heard it said (and I agree) - "there is no right religion; there is just a religion that is right for you". I’m not saying that there are no absolute spiritual truths – indeed there are some spiritual truths that are quite immutable. But when you define "religion" as a system of integrating these spiritual truths, you can see that there is no one system (or, religion) that can possibly suit everyone on this planet, not when humans vary so much in body, mind and spirit.

I think that we have to find the intrinsic truth for ourselves, being guided by that spark of the Divine that resides in all of us. And any religion – whether pagan, Christian, or other – that does not allow such freedom should be avoided. Any path, group, or faith-system that seeks to control or dictate what someone "should" believe is an infringement of personal freedom – a freedom of religion that God intended for us to enjoy when he created us, not as automatons, but with free will.

/end rant.

I HAD to post this... this is just too funny!!

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"Young Witch" (to the tune of YMCA)

Young witch, there's no need to feel sad
I say young witch, cause the preacher's your dad
I say young witch, there's good times to be had
you can choose your own religion

young witch, do you hear what I say
I said young witch. there's a new way to pray
I say young witch, you can mould your own clay
you can be who you want to be

it's fun to pray when you're W-I-C-C-A
it's fun to pray when you're W-I-C-C-A
you can revel all night, and then sleep until noon
you can stay up and howl at the moon

it's fun to pray when you're W-I-C-C-A
it's fun to pray when you're W-I-C-C-A
you can invoke air, fire, water and stone
be the maiden, the mother, the crone

young witch, there's a place you can go
I say young witch, where you can read the tarot
I say young witch, and there's no hell below
you can be a Wiccan priestess

young witch, if you're harming no one
I say young witch, then your will may be done
I say young witch, you can even have fun
you can dance and laugh in circle

it's fun to pray when you're W-I-C-C-A...

young witch, I was once in a lurch
I was a young witch, my parents sent me to church
I knew this witch, had to go on a search
I had to find my path to spirit

that's when, a Pagan came up to me
and said "young witch, merry meet, blessed be"
he said "young witch, there's a path you should see"
and he turned me on to Wicca

it's fun to pray when you're W-I-C-C-A...


Author Unknown

Today is "International Harmony Day". It's one of those holidays made up by the 'powers that be', intended to produce a sense of togetherness, of putting aside racial and other discriminations and being "one people".

I think "harmony" day is a great concept. If I hadn't been so busy last week I would have tried to plan some activities for my office, but I did order some posters to put up around the floor and some ribbons, stickers and other awareness raising tools. The other departments made a day of it, from free juice & muffin by orange-sari draped women in the foyer of our building this morning, to a free sausage sizzle on the upstairs balcony at lunchtime, complete with entertainment from various groups representing different cultures.

The official colour for Harmony Day is Orange. As I had a great lack of anything of this hue in my wardrobe, I went op-shopping on the weekend, and found a orange knit top and a lovely orange scarf made out of feathery wool, similar to the pink scarf my sister knitted me for Christmas.

Today is also Mabon, the Autumn Solstice, the second of the harvest festivals, and one of two points in the year where day and night are as equals. And so the mind turns to thoughts of balance. Interestingly enough, one of the traditional colours of Mabon is Orange. Isn't it funny how these things work? :)

The equinoxes are times when we go from one level of consciousness or being to another - we "change gear", as one website said. It is a time to pause, catch our breath and take stock. In contrast to the Spring equinox, which is the 'resting point' before new beginnings take place, the Autumn equinox is a time to gather strength for the period of rest and reflection ahead.

In Wiccan Lore, this is the time when the Sun King must ready himself for his journey to the Underworld during the long winter months. It is nearing the time when the Earth Mother must sleep. And so we start to ready ourselves for hibernation as well.

As Lughnasad, or Lammas, was all about the corn, Mabon is all about the wine! This is the time when grapes were traditionally harvested and turned into wine, which was used to feast and celebrate the harvest, as the bulk of the crops were gathered at this time as well.

So I would encourage everyone to stop and take stock of the "crop" you are harvesting, for it will sustain your spirit over the long winter months. I would encourage you to prepare yourselves for the time of reflection ahead, but also to find joy in the harvest, both the harvest of the Earth and of the soul. I wish bounty upon everyone for this Autumn equinox!

On a personal spiritual note, I feel that it is the time for me to "go down into the earth" for a time. I have been feeling more and more that now is a time for me to have patience and to devote myself to self-study. There are things I want to look at in depth, concepts I want to know more about, and I have decided to devote myself to the pursuit of knowledge for the next thirteen months. So expect to see a lot more from me in the future about the things I am learning about!

Happy Mabon, happy Harmony Day, happy everything :)

Blessed be.

"Lammas" is Anglo-Saxon word meaning "Loaf Mass". It is the celebration of First Harvest, the first of three Harvest festivals in pagan tradition. This day is also called Lughnasad (pron. LOO-na-sahd) in honour of the Celtic Sun God Lugh, also corresponding to the Welsh God "LLeu" and the Gallic God "Lugos".

In the Wiccan Wheel of the year, it is the time when the God (the Sun King) continues to experience the loss of power which began at Midsummer Solstice. The Darkness gains more ground as the days grow ever shorter. The time is coming for the God to sacrifice himself, and the First Harvest is a symoblic reminder of that sacrifice.

But Lammas is not a sombre festival. It is also a celebration of the power of rebirth. The Earth begins to offer up Her bounty which the hot summer days have encouraged in order to nourish and sustain us through the long winter months when the Earth is slumbering. The seeds which were dropped at Harvest lie dormant while the Mother is sleeping, awaiting the the Spring when they will reawaken and "spring" into life once more.

Lammas is known as "Loaf Mass" because the First Harvest is usually the grain crops, like corn and wheat. Lammas associations/correspondences and activities include:

• the colours red, green, yellow, orange and gold;


• stones such as citrine and peridot;


• vegetation or "Green" Gods and Goddesses;


• foods such as bread, corn, wheat, fruit and berries;


• activities like baking bread, weaving wheat, or making "corn dollies" from husks.

It is considered disrespectful not to share food at this time, as the Earth is so willingly sharing hers, so as a tradition you may wish to bake something to share with your family, neigbours or work colleagues. Below is a recipe for Polenta (a coarse-ground cornmeal) Cakes, which I baked and took to my workplace and shared around.

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LAMMAS BREAD:

Ingredients:

1 cup self-rising flour

1 cup polenta

2-4 tbsp sugar (to taste)

1 tsp all-spice (or spice of your choice)

pinch of salt

2 beaten eggs

1 cup milk

1/4 cup oil or softened margarine.

1. Preheat oven to 200 C (420 F) and grease a cake pan or muffin tin.

2. Mix flour, polenta, sugar, salt and spice in a bowl. In a separate bowl, combine eggs, milk, and oil. Add egg mixture to the dry ingredients all at once and stir through (if it's too runny, keep adding equal parts flour/polenta till it reaches a thicker consistency).

3. Pour into prepared pan and bake for 35-40 minutes or until done. It will go brown on the bottom first, so test for doneness by inserting a knife or toothpick; if it comes out clean the cake is done.

* This is a slightly sweet cake - you can make it sweeter by adding more sugar, or perhaps some dried fruit, or more savoury by reducing the sugar and adding some cheese, or perhaps some chili or capsicum? It's quite versatile and adaptable.

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You may also like to celebrate Lammas with a Ritual. You can dedicate your rites to a particular deity or group of deities, or use the rite as a generic acknowledgement of the Earth's bounty. Below is my Lammas Ritual, which was adapted from Scott Cunningham. This Ritual is best done outdoors, however you can adapt it for indoor use.

1. Altar Prep: Your usual Altar setup can be supplemented with the following items for Lammas: green cloth, red & green candles (or yellow/gold), juice or wine and a chalice and Lammas Bread (see above), a handful of grain and a piece of fruit and a sharp knife.

2. Cast the circle - any way/method you feel comfortable

3. Consecration (optional) - This announces that you are presenting yourself to the Divine and consecrating yourself to the task at hand. There are several methods of consecration. A drop of oil on the forehead (infuse the oil with herbs or use essential oils which are appropriate for the occasion) will do, or if you wish to use the symbolic power of the elements, simply sprinkle salt/water & pass incense (air/fire) over the person being consecrated. NOTE: If there are two of you, you will each consecrate the other. If there are three or more, pick one or two people depending on the size of your group to act as HP/HPS; they will consecrate the others.

4. Blessing/Evocation: "May the Power of the One, the source of all Creation, who Was, and Is, and Will Be... bless this space and this time and me, as I stand before You."

5. Ritual:

"Now is the time of First Harvest
When the bounties of nature give of themselves that we may survive
O God of the ripening field, Lord of the Grain
Grant me the understanding of Sacrifice
Teach me the secrets of rebirth."

Scatter the grain on the ground.

Cut the fruit, reserving core and pip, stone or seeds. Eat a piece of the fruit, and then say:

"I partake of the Mystery of First Harvest,
That I may continue my quest for wisdom
Lord of the Sun, I offer my thanks for the continuing fertility of the Earth
May the nodding grain loose its seed to be buried in the Mother's breast, and be reborn in the Spring."

Finish eating the rest of the fruit, then bury the core/seeds.

5. Works of Magic (optional) - if you have any magickal workings you wish to do, you would do them at this point.

6. Cakes and Wine:

Hold up the chalice containing the juice or wine. Say: "Gracious God of Abundance, bless this cup and infuse it with your love. In Your name I bless this cup." Drink, retaining some juice to spill onto the ground.

Hold up the bread, and say: "Powerful God of the Harvest, bless this bread and infuse it with your love. In Your name I bless this bread." Eat, and then scatter the remaining portion on the ground."

Thank God for being with you, using your own words (usually finishing with "I bid you Hail, and Farewell").

7. Close the space/circle in your usual manner.

Blessed Be and Happy Lammas/Lughnasad.

Someone on one of the Pagan Yahoo! groups I belong to, asked the following question:

"If you were bapstised into Christianity & only discovered the Pagan way are you deemed worthy enough by the Gods & Goddesses?"

She got a few responses, but I decided to answer her query anyway. My answer as follows:

To be a "Witch" is a lifestyle thing, based on your spirituality, but not based on your religion. Religion is what you believe, and spirituality is how you honour the deities you believe in. As a Christo-Eclectic Witch, I can tell you that you don't have to relinquish your faith in God or Christ's teachings to take part in the world of "Magick". But if you feel led to follow a more specific path and take on other deities, then its best to follow your heart in this matter.

If you are turning to Paganism because you are rebelling or are "mad" at the Judeo-Christian God (and I'm NOT saying the original poster is), then you're turning to Paganism for the wrong things. If you're turning to Paganism because it's cool and the "in" thing, you're doing it for the wrong reasons. But if you're turning to Paganism because you no longer believe the teachings of Christianity to be relevant in your life, then also it stands to reason that your 'baptism' would no longer be relevant.

In Christianity, there are two types of baptism - INFANT baptism, which has already been spoken out by a few members of this group as something that happens to a person without their consent (so is therefore irrelevant to their personal spiritual status), and ADULT baptism.

Adult baptism is (or should be, some churches complicate the process) is a process by which a person chooses (for themselves, being of the appropriate mental state to do so) to dedicate themselves to a specific purpose, cause, or deity. It is merely an outward statement of the decision you have already made within, and NOT a contract for your soul. Therefore, as Rai said, the decisions you made at the time may no longer be relevant and you may feel the need to rededicate your journey elsewhere.

When you reject the concept of a Deity "owning" you, and instead embrace the concepts of "strength/guidance/respectfulness" from the God/dess, then your baptism won't be something that concerns you, apart from being a spiritual milestone in your ever-evolving path.

Blessings,

xx Cadence xx